You Can't Keep a Good Spice Down
There are some spices that you just can't keep down. You can keep kicking 'em and biting 'em and boxing 'em right in the ears, but they just keep on getting up and spicing right back at you. Spicing like they've never spiced before. One such spice? Old Spice, my friends. Old Spice.
You know what it really is? It's that the NEW spices are so blasted cocky. Like you're not good enough to wear them unless you've got one of them stupid little horses stitched on your shirt. Give me a break.
I say that a spice just isn't worth having unless you can wear it proudly in both the board room and the cow pen. That's what I say. The last thing you want when you’re in some fancy-pants meeting is to have your banker or what-have-you think "Yeah, he's been mighty impressive in this meeting, but that namby-pamby stink he's wearing gives me the distinct impression that he has no idea how to turn your average bull into your average steer. And dadblameit, he needs that sort of gumption if he’s ever going to make it in this business."
My Granddad wore Old Spice. My Dad wears Old Spice. And though I can’t prove this, I have a sneaking suspicion that Chuck Norris wears Old Spice. I figure if it’s good enough for the men in my family, and good enough for maybe even Chuck Norris…. Then, by gum, it’s good enough for me.
So this Christmas, I said to heck with the two front teeth. All I wanted for this Christmas… is Old Spice. And Mommiedearest pulled through in the clutch.
Old Spice has been down for years now. Down but not out. It’s been plotting, building strategery. Getting even tougher. Branding cattle. Rasslin tornaders.
People, the revolution is on my neck, and it… smells… good. Give me 6 months. I am bringing this back. Old Spice will rise again.
6 comments:
Grandpa was the only smoker I've known who smelled good. Not just not bad, but actually GOOD. I think it was a combo of the cigarettes and Old Spice. Yesterday I ran into an older man who smelled just like Grandpa. He must know the power of The Spice too.
Incidentally, Adam just bought d.o. that is scented like O.S. I'll try to think of my grandfather, father, or brother when I'm smelling my husband.
PS. Brother, where are you?
Michigan, dear sister. Michigan. Just got some good QT in with the neice and nephews. We played a lot of horsey and then they took turns jumping on Mom.
I was wondering where you were also. Where are you in your decisions? I just took a new job as an alternative education math teacher. I'm anxious in both the positive and negative senses of the word. I now am part of that group of Americans that owns a vehicle that does not get decent mpg. I'm a truck driver. Yep. I never thought I would see the day. Keep in touch. Keep smelling nicely.
Ah, my husband wears the deodorant old spice too. It's good for our relationship :) I support you in bringing it back to the masses!
(so I posted anonymously, but uhm... well, think about a dear friend who got married not long ago. Then think of his wife)
This is so sneaky! I feel like a spy.
I recall having a conversation about this with you not so long ago. I don't necessarily want to be reminded of my grandfather, father and brother when I am smelling my husband, who did, in fact, also wear Old Spice. So I bought him a knock-off of some Polo cologne at Wal-Mart for Christmas. I hope that you can forgive me. I still enjoy smelling you and thinking of Dad and Grandpa.
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